Chris Hargensen

January 19, 2014


Now this is one bully who has blood in her hands. Literally.

By now you must have seen the Carrie redux starring Chloë Grace Moretz as the world's most famous telekinetic misfit. The remake is faithful to the original movie and thereby passes on opportunities to right the first's departures from the Stephen King novel. As expected, Carrie 2013 adds some eye-catching millennial touches to the source screenplay, what with smartphones, YouTube, and all. It has better effects than Carrie 1976 too, but that's a given.

Minutes into the remake, you'd be forgiven to mistake actor Gabriella Wilde for evil trollop Christine Hargensen. No, that dishonor goes to Portia Doubleday, whom you'd also be forgiven to mistake as Natasha Hamilton from Atomic Kitten. The important thing is that, for once, the mean girl isn't blonde. 

MIRROR IMAGE. Portia Doubleday as Chris Hargensen in Carrie and Natasha Hamilton of girl band Atomic Kitten

Chris Hargensen is still Chris Hargensen, and it would please you to know that her comeuppance in the remake is truly a scene made in hell. But you would as soon be disappointed that Hargensen 2013 doesn't partake in fellatio.

In fact, Carrie 2013 molts out of its predecessor's sexploitation tendencies. Gone are the gratuitous shots of the women in the shower rooms. Instead, horndogs have something to lap up in the form of Ansel Elgort's (Tommy Ross) Nordic dreamboat of a body. 

What matters most, at least to sentimentalists for the original movie, is that the remake doesn't revisit the famous hand-out-of-grave scene. That one is untouchable.

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